“There is nothing to writing. All you do is just sit at a typewriter and bleed.” –Ernest Hemingway

I'm a horrible blogger. I really am, I must have some kind of ADD when it comes to writing or blogging. Sorry about that. My idea has evolved...a lot. I added a character, changed names more than once and completely changed the whole concept. I'm such a indecisive person.

Procrastination. It's like one of those friends who always call you when you're doing something important and won't hang up until you've talked to them for three hours. And then they call back five minutes later. I haven't written one word. I've got scene ideas in my head but no main plot. That might be a problem. In a couple days, I'll get an idea for a different set of characters and bam. No more story. I don't know how to stop this never-ending phenomenon.. It's driving me crazy. No really, it is. Although, they say that if you know you're crazy, you're actually not. Can anyone say 'confusing'?

Alright, Christmas music may not be the best thing to listen to while blogging. It makes my thoughts all jumbled and the only thing I can clearly think of is hot chocolate. Hmm.

Forever Procrastinating,
   Autumn

“Be passionate about what you write, believe in your ability to convey timeless ideas, and let no one tell you what you’re capable of.” -Christina Westover

First impressions, first blog posts and first lines are the most important, or so it seems. Every advice blog I read pounds my head with the fact that if your first line stinks, so does your book. Probably, why I have a folder full of stories that have never been started. Today, I found my first line. I wish I could know how it happened. I wish I could write down how I do it. But soon, I'll be stuck again without the ability to recreate the process. That's life, I guess.

I'm still having trouble fleshing out my story. I don't know whether they should have superpowers or not. If they do, how they get them, how they use them. To sum it up, I have a lot of work to do.

Forever Swamped,
  Autumn

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” -Richard Bach

Last night, the inspiration fairy found me. And boy, was I glad to see her. I almost jumped for joy although her suggestion was a little less original than I had hoped. It really was just an old idea that she reinvented. I'm working on it though and it's going a lot better of than it was a couple days ago. Hopefully, I'll actually stick with this one. Short post because of my happy mood.

Forever Inspired,
  Autumn

“Creativity is an act of defiance.” -Twyla Tharp

Originality. Creativity. Two concepts which have chosen to abandon me when I need them most. I haven't written anything since August. Do you know why? Because everything I put down on paper becomes something that I've already seen. All my ideas seem so familiar. I don't think I've ever had an idea that made it hard for me to find something to compare it to. Maybe I watch too much TV or read too much. I feel like every story in the world has already been done but then, a new author comes out with a new concept and you smack your head and say: "Why didn't I think of that?". I feel so inferior when that happens. I feel so uncreative, so unoriginal. People say that it's easy. "Just think of something no one else has before!". But I can't. Maybe I'm an in the box person, maybe I'm too rule-abiding to be a good author. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it. Maybe I should stick to failing chemistry and toss my writing career in the garbage. I say that but I know I won't. As soon as I publish this, I'll go back to struggling to find out why my MC does this or why the government would need three super powered teenagers to stop a coming apocalypse. But I feel like that's already been done. And besides, what about their parents? They can't all be orphans. Where would they live? Who would take care of them? Would they be treated like children or like soldiers? Would they become close friends or despised rivals? Would they fall in love or hate each others guts? Would they even be able to stop the apocalypse? I'm so confused. Someone once said that a good idea will stick with you until it's written. I've never had that. I've never had an idea that wants to be written so badly that I can't get away from it. It frustrates me. I'm so tired of feeling like I don't really belong in this category. I'm so tired of not having a single new idea. I'm so tired of almost giving up and then picking myself up again only to fall one more time. Even though I know she doesn't mean to, I'm tired of my mother pressuring me to write something that she wants to read. I feel pressure. Pressure to be the best, pressure to work everything out, pressure to come out on top. Pressure that all comes from me. I'm my own worst enemy.

At least I feel better about getting that off my chest. You all are wonderful listeners.

Forever Waiting For A Good Idea,
   Autumn

“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.” - Louis L’Amour

The first post of a blog is always the most awkward. What do you say? What could I possible write down that would make people want to read what I have to say? Fortunately for me, I don't have to think about that because I have no intention of ever having any readers. This is for me and my sake only. There are only so many places you can truly speak your mind. The internet happens to be one of them. The internet, ladies and gentlemen, has probably saved my sanity. My mind is too fast or my hand is too slow to write my thoughts down on paper. By the time I'm done writing a phrase, the second has already left my brain and been forgotten. Thanks to my mother's tutelage, I can type almost as fast as I can think. Almost, is probably better. I need to think about things before I write them. Mull them over, digest them, before spitting them out on paper [or screen].
You might wonder why, if this is only for my sake, that I'm addressing you. I talk to myself enough. I need to be able to talk things through with another person, even if that person is just a figment of my imagination.
If by chance, you have come across this blog  and are wondering what kind of things you can expect to see in the later blog posts, I will tell you. In the unfortunate case that my blog title wasn't explicit enough, I am a writer. I have never finished a book, none the less, a writer, I am. This place will be my way to work through the ideas I'm currently obsessed with, as well as to rant about all the trouble I'm having. There might be times where I might just write: "I hate this." and that is all. There might be times that the post is so long that you have to go to the bathroom multiple times before you finish. This is what to expect.

I leave you now, with all my cards on the table. I can't promise this will be the most interesting blog, nor the most intriguing but at least there will be one less insane person in this world. That's all anyone can really ask for.

Forever Writing,
  Autumn